Finding Love in a Digital Age

A look at how far online dating has come and its effects on the future of relationships

It seems like people have two options: meet someone at a coffee shop, talk, learn about each other, spend time and effort getting to know their interests, or skip the small talk by opening an app or website, viewing a profile, seeing if you have similar interests and taking it from there.

With new dating apps emerging, it is easy to see that dating is not what it once was. Online dating experts themselves have opinions about what this means.

Forty-two year old author, matchmaking and online dating expert, Carmelia Ray, began working in the dating industry as a matchmaker in 1992 and has worked in the online dating realm for the past four years.

Ray says online dating has evolved greatly.

“Online dating has come such a long way with technological advancements and social acceptance. Almost every single person I come into contact with has heard of, considered or tried online dating,” she said.

“Today online dating is becoming mobile, with apps emerging like Tinder [and] Grinder,” Ray continued.

Other experts are emphasizing that now it’s all about immediacy.

Shannon Tebb, also known as Shanny in the City, started playing cupid at a very young age – she was always more interested in hearing about relationships than playing with barbies.

Tebb said the online dating industry “moves quick. In 20 minutes you can be in front of the person you just viewed on your cellphone.”

According to the founder and CEO of the dating site A Little Nudge, Erika Ettin, “People are so busy. They don’t have the time to scope out singles. Online dating gives you access to people you would not have meet in your regular circles, and for that reason alone, it’s amazing.”

“People are surprised now if you’re not online dating,” the 33-year-old explained.

All three dating experts help wide ranges of singles, both male and female, within a year time frame.

Ettin said she helps upwards of 200 individuals a year, while Ray said she has interviewed over 60,000 clients, which averages about 2,300 new conversations with singles each year.

With numbers like these, it is clear online dating has become the way of starting present relationships and most definitely future ones.

However, this shift is also met with negative outcomes.

“Online dating can give hope and opportunity to those that are single, they visit a place where everyone is in the same boat, looking for a partner,” Tebb Said.

But meanwhile, “We are glued to our cellphones, walking like we are on a mission and passing people that could in fact be ‘the one.’ We fear being rejected. So as a way of playing it safe…people go home, turn on their computers and search through a list of profiles,” Tebb explained.

“Rather than meeting the old fashioned way, we have utilized technology to do the work for us,” Tebb said.

Expectations with online dating are also seen as higher, opposed to relationships created in a more natural way.

“If you meet someone naturally in person, the chemistry is [either] there or it isn’t. You get to learn about the person through conversation rather than reading an online profile,” Tebb added.

Disappointment is also another factor, which is brought on by false advertising that can occur in online profiles, turning people off from this dating method.

Regardless of all the pros and cons, online dating is still going through an evolution. With all the apps and dating sites at our disposal, there’s not telling what the future will hold.

One thing is for sure: people want an instant connection, and online dating is unparalleled at doing just that.